For those of you who read my updates, you may remember my embarrassing announcement that I have finally found out what's "wrong" with me--we all thought I just had MRSA...which, at that time wasn't such a craze all over the news as it now is. However, as tests were done, all the doctors I saw thought it strange that the cultures weren't growing more. They only grew epistaph which is the natural staph that we all carry on our skin. After taking about 10 different antibiotics and several bottles of pain medication, one doctor suggested I see a surgeon. I thought she was ridiculous. But, went to see Dr. H. anyhow. He is a perfectionist and we connected right away. He is a very humble doctor when working with patients--on the floor, working with him as a nurse, well now...that's a different relationship altogether...
Anyhow, after some testing, he confirmed my worst fears. You know how you can have various types of fears when you don't really know the truth? You think of the most awful things and it usually doesn't turn out near as bad as some of the funny things you imagined? I just knew that's how it would turn out in this case, though I knew what the worst case scenario was. I had only heard of Crohn's once before in my life and that was when one of my childhood friends developed it. She lost lots of weight, was thin and pale, and in general, looked very sickly. The lady who told us the news assumed she would die of it. And so when I heard "Crohn's" as the anesthesia was wearing off, I almost choked. Not me! Not young, vivacious, healthy, VEGAN, Jessi Jernigan!  But it was me. A host of fears and worries and doubts ran through my mind then. What would become of nursing school? All of my dreams, hopes, goals, plans? I thought of my future career, my future marriage and family, my friends...what would they think now? Above all, I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me or treating me differently. Through a miraculous orchestration of events, I was able to discuss those fears and hear the fears of another who had gone through the same diagnosis and many of the same emotions. And, through that friend's encouragement as well as a prayer that Dr. Nedley had with me in his office, my fears began to subside and I began to accept this awful prognosis.
I'm much better now. I've had it since just following my graduation from Highschool as far as we can reckon since that's when my first real symptom was noticed...and so, it has taken quite a while to get it past the 'exacerbation' stage and it's possible that I will still need surgery, but overall, I'm much better. My sed rate, which measure the inflammation in one's body, was a 68 on my first blood test (normal range is 1-20!) and was down to a 1 on my second test and the last test I took was back up to 22. We are doing what we can to alleviate the inflammation naturally without the use of the Steroids and NSAIDs prescribed which have been Prednisone ($9.00), Pentasa ($400), and Humira ($4,000). So now I'm a whopping we-won't-say-thousand dollars in debt. Oh well. I'm working hard and don't have rent, a car payment, or any other such great expense to funnel my money into, so it's all going to Capitol One.

Anyhow, God is good and I am eternally grateful to Him for His continual blessings. Nursing school is harder this semester and you'll no doubtedly see less of me. Please email me, though. It's always easier to quickly read and reply to an email than to read everyone's updates and post comments on each individual site...

Work is still one of my greatest passions! I have so many stories but will have to post them later.

I am praying for all of you and look forward to meeting again soon!

I heard those exact four words at least three times today, probably more! Today was our orientation to Med/Surg at MCSO! How exciting! We were able to look at the machinery used for NG tubes for feeding and re-hydration as well as IV pumps...then, we did finger stick blood sugars (FSBS). Wow...you would not believe how many girls were turning bright red, screaming, and holding their fingers afterwards...it was absolutely hilarious! I think it must be about nine tenths of our class that is of the female gender and so you can only imagine what kind of an education the guys are getting...haha!
Guess WHAT!?! I saw my third rattlesnake of the season and it's the second one I've seen on my own since we've been back to OK! It was exceedingly exciting (I know that sounds funny, but that's a phrase I picked up from Christin and I can't help but use it)! He is every bit of four feet long, which is pretty large for a rattlesnake, but I don't want this to sound like the "big one got away" fish story, so I won't elaborate on that too much, but I really think he was slightly longer than four feet. His circumference was also uncomfortably large, but he was the most beautiful snake I think I've ever seen! He was a Velvet Tail and the velvet started about six inches (if not eight) from the end of his tail and extended to the first nub of his rattle (which must have been stolen by someone, because he should have had quite a few nubs by that size!) His colors were so clear and definite and his head was a beautifully defined diamond---PERFECT snake! I drove past him at about 10 pm the other evening on my way home from Psychology, and I immediately hoped when I turned around that he'd be a rattlesnake, since they can look startlingly similar to a chicken snake. When I got turned around at the other end and was on my way back, I wondered if he'd still be alive, and hoped my Dad had left the stick in the suburban that I'd seen in the floor board the week before. It was pitch black outside, but I was thankful for the brights on the suburban---it made me feel a little less intimidated. Of course, because I was almost home, and we live back in the woods with lots of nice old people, a man stopped and asked me if I was okay and I had to tell him I was looking at a rattlesnake on the road! (how embarrassing!) Anyhow, when the road was peaceful again, I cautiously approached him and made sure he knew I was there---he didn't move, didn't stick his tongue at me, didn't blink an eye. But neither was he "belly up" which usually signifies a dead snake, so I truly believe that he was alive that night...but what really struck me was how in tact he was! There wasn't a mark on his body so far as I could see and he just looked so perfect and beautiful...like I said, the most beautiful snake I think I've ever seen. I wanted so much to touch him, but I think it was a combination of the deadliness of his venom, the dark night, and the thought that he could still be alive that kept me from being presumptuous. Additionally, it was late and I don't think straight that late. I know I'm tired when I drive like a drunk, and that night, I was---kept running off the road, and swerving between lanes...my my...good thing the cops weren't out--that would have been a good time to get my first ticket.

Anyhow, so I left my beautiful specimen there, untouched, thinking he could very possibly be gone in the morning since people around here cut off their heads, tails, or just take them home and skin them---and, snakes have a way of disappearing anyhow. You can see them, they won't move an inch...then you'll tell them to stay right where they are and not to go away and run as fast as you can to get somebody to come and see, and never ever see them again. Sly creatures! But, much to my joy, he was still there the next morning in much the same position. I called my dad on my way to school that morning and we decided that if the snake was still in good condition when I was on my way home, that I could stop and get him and bring him home to preserve his skin so as to not waste such a rare site in these parts...that's a nice way of saying we wanted to skin him...(*cringe* I know...please get on your soapbox and tell me all the reasons why we shouldn't skin animals)
But, perhaps for the best, he had been hit several times by the time I passed that way again. I was very sad, but from dust we came and to dust we shall return, right? Besides that, my mom was relieved that there wouldn't be a rattlesnake in her freezer that night. (Haha! fun stuffSo, I cheered myself up by doing a full inspection of his body---I lay him out as straight as possible and measured him by spreading my legs apart and then I put my thumb and forefinger on either side of his midsection to measure his circumference. Then, I held my fingers apart on either side of the largest area of the beautifully shaped triangle of his head and opened his mouth and pulled back the skin so I could see his fangs--which OF COURSE, were also beautiful...long, sharp, and deadly. And of course, because I was almost home, and we live back in the woods with lots of nice old people, another man stopped and asked me if I was okay and I had to tell him I was looking at a rattlesnake on the road again! (how embarrassing!)

And I was thinking---probably the most feared creature in this part of OK is the rattlesnake. But what if he weren't such a warning from the physical point of view? What if he didn't carry such a stigma? What if he were a beautiful golden creature that could talk and fly? Isn't it funny that Satan was the most deadly, most dangerous, most disaster-imposing being in all of creation in the Garden of Eden but Eve still allowed him to speak to her? Still listened to his tantalizing voice and put herself in the way of temptation and eventually succombed to it? Do not we so often continue to do that today? Even though we say that if we were Eve, we would never have left Adam's side...HAHA--what a joke! We "leave Adam's side" everyday!
I've been learning a great multitude of lessons while I've been in nursing school---God has really used this as a channel to teach me a lot about myself and about other people and about life. The last few weeks have been amazingly overwhelming as I have seen how far I am from being where I really want to be. Maybe I'll share some of those lessons later, but what I really want to state now--is that sin is such a wicked, evil thing. Do you know that Ellen White describes the processes Satan goes through while tempting us to sin and do you know that he laughs each time he succeeds? Do you ever think of the unseen controversy taking place in a fourth dimension (I know that's controversial, so forgive me for using it) each time we are struggling under the pressure of the influence of sin? How easy it would be, says Ellen White, to make the right decision should our eyes be opened and we see the reality of this great battle. It's being fought everyday, every hour, every moment---will you be an overcomer today and triumph? Or will you be the one Satan is mocking Christ over? This isn't the time to melt down the message---we need to realize that if we're to be the last generation, we need to be living truth and we can't do that by saying it's really ok to live your life, to watch your movies, to have your music, and to eat what you want as long as you love Jesus. This is the time to stand! Jesus is coming soon, guys--and Heaven really is cheap enough!

I love you all! The world is in my prayers tonite...

This isn't going to be my normal edited, cleaned-up version of a blog entry. I have to get to Madill and do some business and then run home and finish up some homework for tomorrow. Thus, I have no time to be editing...

Nursing is going well. Today was my first clinical day at the Nursing Home--I'll post pictures and a description later. Jeremy is now attending OHA in AR. We dropped him off on Monday and I miss him very much already! It's so quiet around the house now and there's nobody to ask quick computer questions anymore...

I'm deleting all of my other websites except this one and my devotional site: http://joybyandby.blogspot.com.

OHA is the best this year--makes me wanna go back and be a senior in highschool again.......almost...

Anyhow, please feel free to write to me. You can email me at: jessijernigan@gmail.com... or post comments---love you all!

God bless!